Care For The Caregiver
Hello, friend. Welcome, and thank you for visiting my website. My book, “Out Of Love, A Daughter’s Journey With Her Mom To The End” is about my journey through my mom’s ovarian cancer, and how that journey has continued to transform me long after my mom’s death. Truthfully, this is a book I wish no one ever needed, and yet, it would have come in handy at the time I needed it.
I believe that as Ram Dass said: "we are all just walking each other home"
Have you ever felt like you are in a tsunami of emotions? One day, everything is fine, and then something about someone you love changes forever. Out of Love was written for you, in your time of need, and for those moments that feel hopeless. I wrote these words to encourage and inspire you, and to let you know that “everything will be okay, honey,” as my dear mom, Rosemary Ann Hakim (a.k.a. RahRah) would say if she were still with us.
Out of love, I learned how to be a caregiver.
Out of necessity, I created systems and tools that supported the daily tasks inherent in caring for someone with a life-threatening dis-ease.
During the six years of my mom’s illness, I journaled daily, and in the aftermath of her death, I was able to see the vital lessons those years taught me.
In my daily life, I’m a business consultant and community builder. The life of a caregiver was unfamiliar to me but somehow, as you will, I figured it out purposely. I am honored to share my personal journey with you.
As my mom always said, “Life goes on.” And as usual, she was right. You will see that in this book. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. I’m with you.
My mom, Rosemary Ann Hakim was diagnosed with Stage IIIC Ovarian Cancer in February, 2011. She took her final breath at home, in her own bed, on May 1, 2017.
My book is focused on my personal journey…
Through the roller coaster we experienced together, and the transformation that unfolded as the years moved along, and through today, my perspectives continue to evolve.
My purpose in writing this book is to help other family caregivers, especially daughters thrust into being all-of-a-sudden caregivers, feel supported and encouraged. If I can reduce the trauma of it all - even a tiny bit - for those who are suddenly faced with a catastrophic diagnosis in their families, the love and effort I put into writing about my personal experiences will have been worth it. I see you and I’m here alongside you.
This needs to be acknowledged.
I realize that I’m writing from a place of privilege. This is something I’ve become keenly aware of, and something I’d like to see transformed in our system of health care, encompassing death and dying, with a focus on families and advocacy for family members who may not be able to advocate for themselves. And of course, it’s important for me to encourage all of us, myself included, to be our own advocates, as much as possible. I’ll be updating these pages as we move toward the birth of this book (sometime in the Fall of 2022), and I invite you to join me on this journey.
Additionally, I gratefully acknowledge that I sit on the traditional territory and homelands of the Luiseño (Loo-sin-yo)/Payómkawichum (Pie-yom-ko-wi-shum) people, paying respect to their elders, past & present.My mom chose this song in advance of her death for us to play at her memorial services. And of course, we did.
“I hear babies cry
I watch them grow
They’ll learn so much more
Then I’ll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.”
-Bob Thiele and George David Weiss
”What A Wonderful World”
I love you, Mom!
Interested in learning more?
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